Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
