READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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