one two three fourrrrnication!
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
