What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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