Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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