Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
barbara walters just said penis...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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