We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
