just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
