I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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