I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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