I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
