Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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