I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
