Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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