mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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