Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
