she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
