So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
