I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
