he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
