i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
