There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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