what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
