If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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