My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
