I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
