Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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