I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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