she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
