it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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