buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
they're like a gay fantastic four
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
