I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
