It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
