lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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