Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
