you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
