I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
