she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I didn't notice because vodka
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
