Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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