You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Sext me about skeletons
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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