Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
