she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
accomplished twins. life is a go
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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