Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
