hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Randomize
