I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
