I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
