So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
