rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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