There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Drake has all the answers
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
