I have demons in me.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
