I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
