My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
